Saturday 23 October 2010

Desperation Vs Hope






As the night began to close in, having just had to be wrenched apart from an integral member of our team. We entered the landscape once more. Blendi expertly negotiated the ‘Rruga e Keq’ perfectly and we arrived ‘home’ It was the same, but different. It’s been a year since I had been here and that year had been kind, each day revealed a new development, a new building or a new restaurant that has been filled. Kosova is still defiantly on the up. Having been well fed with the food I had become familiar with, we took the long walk to church (down the stairs) It’s amazing the difference. Some old friends but also some of the empty seats reveal the harsh reality of what it takes to follow Jesus into the unknown. Some have faded, some have work, some have slept in. Yet there was the ever present sense of resilience, thanks giving and hope. We sang, we didn’t know the words, we heard people calling out their prayer, we didn’t understand but we knew who the called to, who they sang to, so as in those ancient days. ‘the believers were in of one heart and mind’ We talked about, family, Love and home. We were blown away by a testimony of prayer in action by one Mr C, Fitzpatrick.




The rest of the trip lead us a little deeper, a trip to Colonia , distributing food to poor (poor and poorer) families, meeting people in desperation. I always struggle with the concept of ‘mission tourism’ you know just looking at poverty, just observing rather than reaching in to try and help people out of it? I don’t know, its still a massively humbling privilege to be in such an environment, to see the resilience that a life of struggle gives, and to see the solid trust in God. Silver and gold we don’t have but what we have...........




Let me paint you a picture that sums up the trip.




So we cross the newly refurbished border from kovova to Albania, passed the immediately intrusive military pillboxes that abruptly interrupt the beautiful landscape. We take the single lane road over the wooden bridge (that’s is amazingly still there) over the electric blue mountain river and on, on into the bare face harshness of northern Albanians’ bandit country Barum Curri!!!! This is Albania!




You can’t help but get a feeling of hardness, a hardness of the country, a hardness in the eyes of the people and the hardness of the reality of life in such a bleak place. We head to a typical post communistic looking apartment block we head up the concert stairs being careful not to fall out of the gaping holes where the windows once sat. The battering rain presents the backdrop of a situation that is as pressing as the weather. We sat in a room of a family of typical standard with a girl who is anything but typical. Martina, works with a charity for the disabled, is involved in leadership at the church, and is in the process of applying to Oxford university in the UK! But believe it or not these things are not what struck me most. As we sat and heard her story I innocently asked what the main challenges that faced the church in Barum Curri, expecting to hear of difficult people, lack of finance, poverty and complaints. But this was the surprising response that stopped me in my track




“with God there are no problems, with him we know that anything we face will we will be able to overcome”



Oh,



I didn’t know what to say, even in our comparative luxury in the UK we can always find reason or grounds to discuss hardship or problem, yet here, not so many miles, but in comparative terms a gazillion miles away from all we know we here a story of such faith such belief that literally stops us in our tracks.




I think This time was about family, friends and future. We had a great time with friends, we felt like family together with us, together with our friends and brothers and sisters. And we dreamed of the future, a future that would see people being helped to help themselves. With a few idea in tow we too began to have a hope, that there is a way.




I left Kosova this time feeling sooooo different than a year ago. I was a little less emotional but no less attached. I think even more inspired (if that’s possible) by the creative ways that victory church continue to reach into the dark with a massive flaming torch to lead people out. I was deeply moved by the routine that remains, prayer day (yes!!!), bible study, children’s meetings, aid relief distribution, church meeting, guitar lessons, driving lessons, looking after the tourists (ha), and still finding time to have fun and enjoy God and relationships.


Keep Kosova in your prayers. Unity in Gjkavoa, continuation in the incredible work that goes on! The church in Barum Curri that will really need more constant support i think, Chris and Loraine who are moving from England to develop a drug and alcohol awareness/education program around Kosova.




Oh and one Mr C Fitzpatrick who had, quote “the best time of my life” wot more can I say






Sunday 3 October 2010

Apathy

Someone asked me wot it is thats drivin me?
Asked about the passion that keeps pushing me
Above all else and any other part of me
Above all I think I’d like to think and see
The biggest drive that sits inside of me sometimes is simply
Apathy
The lack of drive to see beyond of me
Beyond wot lays in front of me
Beyond the notion that’s there more to see then the just wot lays in front of me
Yet I posses a very unhelpful reality
Of an inherent ability
to simply
Switch off

Before it all gets too much

And Sure,
the worlds ruff
And we face the daily enormities and faceless non-conformities of the way we think it ought to be
And distant lands suffer at the hands of injustice and in equality
Dyeing of diseases that rarely bother me
And although they sometimes catch up and tug on a certain part of me
Still that ever present reality of wot is directly in front of me
Slowy eats away at me
And wot I physically have to see
And so
I switch off

And watch
A little more MTV

And feel a little better
About the world

And unplug form sociology
And recharge and indulge my own deepest darkest sense of apathy
And the fact that a world doesn’t exists out there unless I can see it right in front of me
So instead I watch re runs of sitcoms and feel Safe in my existence
As long as I don’t give in, and let the desire to think, kick in?