Perfect love drives out all fear???

When you were little did you dream of anything, doing something, being something? Did you get there???

When I was little I really wanted to be having fun, running about with other kids, but there were certain thing that I was just too scared to do. I’m not talking about jumping off diving boards I’m talking little things, putting your hand up in class, I was too scared to get something wrong. Going swimming coz I wasn’t very good at it, Volunteering to do things, coz I was scared I didn’t know what would happen or who I would have to do it with.

When I a bit older I didn’t really want to get into drugs (I don’t think) I just was scared about not fitting in with anyone and if I didn’t do what they were doing I wouldn’t have friends and I wouldn’t have fun.

When I was about 13 I heard Jumping Jack frost on kiss 100 play ‘Candles’ by Alex Reece, a little while later I heard Eksman and Herbsy on cindicutt fm. I was hooked. I wanted to be a drum and bass MC, so I started my journey, listening ,imitating, reciting, writing, recording and mastering my style. I had so many opportunities to make a go of it. BUT I was scared, scared of what people would think, scared of the pressure, scared I Would actually make it then I would have to really be good all the time, so I bottled out loads of times, or I didn’t even try.

It took about 8 years to make it from the bedroom decks to the airwaves of 90.8, and even then it wasn’t till a good friend got on that I was able to follow that dream. I loved it and I’m truly grateful to God and my pal for that, but I couldn’t help thinking of all the times I could of pushed to be there earlier. I’m sure the timing wasn’t right, but there were so many opportunities that I could have reached for but didn’t. I was scared, scared that I wasn’t good enough.

I’ve carried that a lot through life. I’ve been a fearful guy. I don’t mean to be, and most of the time I don’t think I am, but subconsciously I cover it “Na I’m not gonna do that coz I haven’t got time” “Na I don’t think this is the right thing at the moment” “I’m just gonna let someone else do that” Now to be fair all these reasons are right, at a time, but all the time????

The Bible say’s ‘..perfect love drive out all fear!’, So, fear isn’t from God right? But what if you’re scared.? “Be bold and courageous, DO NOT BE AFRAID”

I’m in love, I can’t say it’s perfect love coz that comes from God himself, but, in being in this relationship I can see glimpses of God’s love. That gentle hand that guides at times, but also that strong voices that says, “will you trust me?, will YOU go there for me, I know you don’t know where or even how you will get their BUT, will YOU go for me?”. I like to think I’ve learned a lot about trusting God this past 2 years and I’m sure I have I really have, BUT I have also always had a back up. These days I don’t have a back up. All that has kinda been used. So now, it’s about trust. Bare naked trust. And it scares me.

The most influential MC I ever heard when I was young was a guy called Fearless. Ironic, now 10 years or more on, that I only just realised that maybe he had more than just crowd hyping skills to teach me.

I love God, and I want to do whatever he has lined up, I love to dream, and I have some things that I believe God birthed in me, many years ago that I really would love simply to try, to trust, to see, and to do to bring glory to God, to celebrate that gift he has put in me, but have never pushed coz well, I was too scared of failing, and never believed in myself.

But figure God is like a Dad right?

I remember learning to ride a bike, my Day would hold the bike up steady, get in balance, walk beside me as I rode, all the while saying “you’re doing well keep going, you’re going to get it, well done, you’re doing great” sometimes it would work, sometimes I would fall flat on my face, but if I did, he would pick me up, dust me off and still say “well done son lets have another go”

I think today via the voice of a prophetess, and out of love, God dusted off some old dream and said son, do you trust me?

Do you trust God enough to dream????? I’m still learning. Do you think you ever really get it?