Saturday, 29 January 2011

I just.....


I just, .....I just, ..... can’t explain


My current mental state I’m starting to find hard to maintain


My main aim


My main game


My same way


Are falling


And I feel like I’m losin it



Look


I’m just trying


With all I am - to be good


To, do that thing I’m sure I’m sure I thought I should


To do right, to be nice, to live life


And be a really good guy


To keep my head high


To seek to know why


To speak truth and not lie


But to lie


Myself down


For the sake of my brother


And if the opportunity arises maybe even my enemy


But its killing me


Ok, so I exaggerate


But also to I exacerbate


As I dig deeper in the this pit of shit I uncovered


And fell in


And now I stink



I feel, I feel, I


Na, that’s not right for me to right


Coz that would require me to actually feel something


Yet at this moment I feel nothing


And I’m left to ask.....



“why do the good die young?


Why do dickheads have all the fun?


Why is when there’s work to do there’s no one


Yet if they want something, there’s, everyone



And while I’m asking


Why to beautiful girls date idiot horrible guys just coz they look a bit kool?


And why did I fail at school?


And why, did I never listen


to the advice of those beside that left me behind to clime high?



Matter of fact – why do i even try?



Like I said


I was honestly just simply trying to do good


Make a choice that might someday result in some next guy having a slightly better life


And maybe – one day someone, might just remember me


For one tiny good deed?



But right now it’s hard to see if even one of these steps might be right


I’m so deep in this hole I cant barely see light



So why fight?



Then someone hands me a letter


It says



Dear you (me)



I am them, him her, everybody, every conversation you didn’t here and every situation you didn’t see



I just want you to know while you’re stuck in the whole - you gave me a foot up so I could roll


And, you didn’t fail school


You might not have the grade


but you stood tall and brave and


Learned from mistakes


And moved on


That time you said “you should listen to this song?”


Well - that helped


That time you lent me £2.40, to me that was big, it was sharing wealth



I see its hard where your living


Knowing somehow your trying but just not fitting


But when I was that guy I want you to know, you helped me and gave me a hand



Writing to me, helped keep me sane


Visiting me, blew my brain


Those kind words didn’t go unheard


They helped me play the game



look


I know the roads tuff


But


Like you say


Son, keep ya head up



Even though you can’t see


keep climbing and think of me



be sure - You’re doing enuff!


Matter of fact a little too much


Learn from your mistakes, don’t let them define you


Don’t worry about what people think and looking kool


Do what YOU do.



It doesn’t go unnoticed


Don’t! Throw this


Roll with this


Go with this


Work on this


When it gets hard don’t quit


Pray hard and learn from it


So next time you don’t make the same mistake with it



Trust me



You got this



But that thing you said - about the girls and the idiot guys........yeah, I know what you’re saying, I cant answer it?????

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