And I will worship you here.

So it no surprise when these words roll out in song my mind is drawn back to places of incredible beauty that we’ve had the privilege of visiting over the past few weeks. In these places of immense beauty it’s kinda easy to worship God. When your surrounded by the work of his hands,iIn a place where he’s the focus, in the prayer room in the safety of a church building, it’s not a difficult thing to say “yeah, I will worship you here”.

Snap forward a little, to a boy on the street I aint seen in a while, he begins to share his troubled soul, his anger and the things that lay heavy on his shoulders. The boys on the park bench don’t seem any different 5 months later. The aspirations to simply get away from reality by any means they can still linger heavy. It breaks my heart to these guys, guys that full of potential, guys with hopes and dreams, guys that are searching, but just looking in all the wrong places.
Then it comes, the challenge now takes on a new dimension, “Can you worship me here?” It’s a bit more difficult, it’s nowhere near as safe, its out of any type of comfort zone you could imagine, but, Yeah, “I will worship you hear”, among the broken, among the hurting among the lost. In fact, It’s what I want to do. I don’t know how, I’m gonna need some direction, but I’m here, and I WILL worship you. With all that I am. At least I’ll try, as best as I possible can

I've walked this road before

So I think this is it for a while. Its been all I could imagine and more. The only way I can sum it up is with a very long poetic retrospective with a glimmer of hope for the future. I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think.




I’ve walked this road before
But
Somehow, it seems so much different than before
So many faces, the same streets and same places
And I recognise them, But
Somehow, it’s just. Different from before
So in the only way I know, I just roam the street
To the same tired old rhythm that rolls to an all too familiar beat
Remembering that those were the days
And remembering that those were they ways
And never again will it be the same
And with every melodic slow pounding from the drum, I realise “son”
Things done change
Ya see I dun walked through the valley, and I got lost in the shade of the shadow
And when I was surrounded by the snarling sneering forces, in the dark side quarter
I fell, and I got caught.
And trust me you can’t know how deep man a sink
And how close man just came so close to the brink
When all I could think
Was, there’s no further left to sink
And with one last look over my shoulder not knowing what to think
That’s
When he found me
Just when it felt too deep
And my lack of knowledge on how ta swim, trust, nearly drowned me
That’s
Where he found me
And he said he’d been shouting out for a while, but it was too loud around me
I said, man I’m truly sorry coz I really aint done right
And I tried to stand up but I lost the fight
Made some bad moves and didn’t get things just right
But with a voice that could calm the most savaging storm he said,
It’s alright son
Coz it’s all said and done
And now,
It looks so much different than before
The battles lost, but with a confidence that surpasses rationality and logic and understanding he pointed to a distant light and in the breaking of the dawn
He said It’s all good, the time ‘ll soon come
And all I could do was just sink into to his magnificence, his beautifully, his simple elegance and appreciate all that he is and was and will be to me before my times done,
And in the most appropriate time that has ever been presented itself all I could holla was,
Flippin, nice one bruv
Since then I’ve been lifted
And the walk was tuff sometimes but somehow I knew I would make it
And with endless help I made it
And I stood, on the brink of the mountains
In complete gratitude for the works of his hands in the surroundings
And as I watch the sunset over the most perfect backdrop
And remember where I was,
and now just where my feet are
and I just have to stop
And as I rolled on the path less travelled
To follow his lead and see how far I could follow
To be amazed time after time
And line after line of 1000 rhymes
Can’t even begin
To keep up
And you won’t believe the things I’ve seen, far beyond your wildest dreams
An 8 year old girl searching through the rubbish in a skip till her fingers bleed
To a true solider, who fell in the pressure from the enemy
To a community, and you gota love the irony
That pray nonstop in a house between the town’s hottest night spot and the heroin stop
From the power cuts in the Balkans to the red lights in Amsterdam
Finally
I’m only just starting to learn a bit about who I am
So I can tell you with not word of doubt
Having been with from the land of plenty
to the land where they just do without
I’ve walked this road before
But with all that’s gone down it won’t ever be the same as before
Coz I’m not the same any more
Having known now what I know now having been where I’ve been and found what I’ve found
Having rolled street to the same old sound, having made my way to the lost and found
Right now
I can’t stop moving
I can’t sit down
Because from up here on the mountain,
You can see all the way
Down
To wot lays broken and dormant on the ground
And then comes the sound
“Go down”,
It’s just a whisper at first and it’s hard to make out the words
“Go down”
Just a little louder that at first, just a simple verse
“Go down”
Getting louder still and these feet of mine just can’t keep still
“Go down” “Go Down”
No its hollain at me, the sounds so loud, in words that I can see,
“this is what I’m calling you to be”
the response to call that’s been birthed in me,
the command I can see quite literally
and the voice becoming the whole of me,
and journeys long the end I can’t see,
but the sounds guiding my feet and passions just pulling me,
I want ta be
all I can be
and burning a deep fire right in the depth of me
and still struggling with what it means to give all of me,
starting to realise it means the very soul of me
layed out bare for all to see,
to lay down all my hopes and my so many dreams,
and trusting that he,
is all that I need,
and in the best and the worst he will come through for me,
the shouts still get louder gradually
until all I can think and all I can be and all that consumes the inside of me is
the answer that he’s already planed and put inside of me
“Go down”.
Im on my way
With a fire burning bright from the eyes
Able to see right through the darkest of dark nights
To help eliminate the how’s and the whys
Down, down to the depths we go,
It’s not the simplest route and the path lays dormant and old
And the early silence is one that I know
Down the path, though the thickest forest to the pit I once saw,
But this time
I’m in much clearer position than before,
Just back to the spot where he found me
Maybe you’re loosing or just not fittin in
Maybe your maybe this is the battle that you just can’t win,
Maybe ya struggling but don’t know where to begin
Coz every step that you take pulls you much further in
And there’s nothing you can do so ya just start sinking
But now to the secret, let me let you in,
When it all goes down and the storms raging
And the forces against us tear us up from within
And try to outstand the harshest temptation
When you look into the eyes of the enemy within
Staring straight into the face of satian
And ya felling like it’s a battle and ya just can’t win
And it’s getting dark and just can’t win
And ya sail won’t find the slightest of wind
And now is the time ya feel you can only give in
Then to a secret, let me let you in
I heard a rumour,
That in the end
he win’s
So I walked the valley and i fell many times, I got stuck
And I’ve stood in the presence of greatness and observed it all from the top
I’ve seen the night sky glisten and the and the moon light up the sea,
I’ve come to know the light on the hill top that was put there for me
The one that guides the path and makes things clearer to see
So in accordance with the sound, that rings out so clearly
And in line with the path that’s laid out for me,
I’ve seen the top and it’s amazing to me
But that’s not where you’ll find me
But find me in the valley, in the pits of despair
Find me in the darkness searching with a fixed stare
Now the light that burns bright dwells in the depths of me
Find me in the valley, simply trying to help people ta see

Coz up here is beautiful,
And I love it believe,
but down there, their drowning literally,
right in front of me
And as I walk the same streets, the faces I see, but I can’t help notice how different they seem
It’s like I can hear souls screaming at me
Don’t walk passed this, don’t try and be the fastest
I’m drowning down here in the deepest abyss
Please help me, get me out of this
This is an opportunity it would be criminal ta miss
That’s where he found me
Now that’s where I need to be
So we can help em get up here to see what we’ve seen
Coz up on the top of the mountains a great place to be
But in the valley, with the broken
is where we’re called to be
And not still shouting the same old here I am send me
Coz the challenge was laid down clear for all to see
Plain and blatantly
Now
here I am,
use me.
Mould me shape me
Let the things that break you, begin to break me
And I’m right here and I’m ready so
Now’s the time
The battle fields open
And this soldier...
Is ready.

The Dam DAM!

“Excuse me, do you guys speak English?” The two sat on the bench look somewhat different to anyone I’ve seen in a church for a long time. Two tuff faced soul’s draped in the style of the city. “Yeah mate we do, what’s up” “Errr well, I was wondering if we could give you a flyer for this...thing...?” “There’s a dance party goin on in the church across the way at the top of the Red light, though you might wanna go, if you take this you can have a free drink or something to eat” such was the brief we received an hour or so ago on arriving in the dam. Then it struck, I know this place and the reputation that too readily precedes it, but never have I stood in this street and heard it put so blatantly “this is a Christian party right, if it’s in a church?” “Yeah, that’s right” “You know where you are right?, this is Amsterdam, over there just a few meters away and still in eye sight is the red light district. This is the city of sin!” “What are Christians doing here?”
Have you ever hear something that’s packed so full of truth, so loaded with pain yet in the same breath is ready to explode with possibilities. BANG, this is it “that’s exactly why we’re here” we reply, with an air of confidence in this small band of soldiers that have assembled in this city, this weekend, for exactly this reason.
We got to Amsterdam late Friday afternoon, after pitching our tent in the most Getto (with a capital Gett) of camp sites. We stick our faces into the YWAM base in to see what is happening. By this point in our travels, I’m getting less and less convinced that coincidences happen, and more and more sure that God, took the time out and just dropped us into situations already prepared for us to be in (thanks Dad). Mission Amsterdam is happening, now, it’s started an hour ago, do you fancy joining in? Yeah baby. We have come to learn the lesson of getting involved and worrying about any consequences that may follow later. Christians from around the Netherlands, Germany, America and Steve lee with his ‘miracle street’ team from England have gathered for this. It’s like when Mike skinner and the streets paint a picture of the ultimate hedonistic night of club culture and drug taking,

‘they’ve all come together for this party, many faces, from places you never heard of, wots ya name, where ya from and wot you on?’

But this time its heating up in the city, the names may be the same and the places you never heard of, you still never heard of but ‘what you on’ is a different story entirely.
So the weekend flows, outreach evangelism and mission. Now it’s easy for me to step back as an outsider and say why I didn’t like some of the ways it was done and some of the methods were a bit ‘oldskool’ for my liking etc etc. But what I can say is this; we met some people that have a heart for this city. A real heart for the people here. As we stroll through the red light and here the knocks on the glass and our noses fill with the ‘aroma’ of the city and as often we have heard. You start to see things, just a little, from the God perspective. As we spend the weekend with a Italian/American Dutch guy, a crazy Germany evangelist, and English escape artist, a Latvian funk band and various others we start to see the makings of an army. An army of young people that would march out, on the streets of despair and simply just care! It’s wonderful and heart breaking at the same time, but I’m coming to see that sometimes that’s how we need to see things!
After the festivities of the weekend we walk the now bright streets of the red light and tuck into the first English breakfast I’ve experienced in 4 and a half months. The streets seem so different in the day light. The live porn show signs are still present but lack the backing of the neon lights and somehow, in the cold light of day, just seem sad. But as we visit some places we continue to see God at work. A prayer house in the main strip called the tabernacle, a Christian community house right in the deepest part of the district, a youth hostel run on Christian values with prayer and bible studies available to any of the 180 guests that may be staying at any one time. As the battle cry of broken hearts advances the army does too!
But then, as if you needed reminding, the harsh reality hits home, after a weekend where we’ve heard of guys going into the hang outs of prostitutes and leading them to God himself, stories of healing and testimonies shared on the streets. We walk down a small ally at 10.30 am we hear the all to familiar tap tap on the glass and turn to see a girl, at 10.30 in the morning, touting for business. The €250 she has to pay for her place in the window has to be paid somehow, and if that means starting work early, here in the city of sin, at least for now, life goes on?

The northest place

Here on in lies a whole bunch of dubious connections. We roll up in Denmark at the house of some guys who know some guys who know us. What they do and how they do it is a little unknown, all we know is we are still on the path. Still trying to follow God and listen to the whisper in the wind. So we arrive in Svenbourg, Denmark.
Our crash pad for the next few days is the house of Frank and Miriam there 4 children 1 cat and 4 kittens, with the occasional visit of a sister, a brother in law and baby, and mum and dad makes this family home seem almost the same as some of the community houses we have been to already. We spend the first night learning, where they’ve been and how they too have live out this eternal adventure of following God to the ends of the earth. It’s still amazing, when you roll up in a city that you could have so easily driven passed as just some place and bang, you’re thrown into what God is doin. I pause to think of all the little villages, towns and cities we have already driven passed and consider where God is, where are the people doing his bidding and how it’s changing people’s lives?......
Until I’m rudely awaken at 4.45am! Wot, now you don’t have to tell me that prayer is important, but I’m also very aware of the laws of nature that tell us sleep is also and essential to life. Either way 5 am we roll up at the church for a 2 hour prayer meeting (I was sure you only had to pray for one hour, but, you know, when in Rome) So for a majority of the time we simply sat and told stories, of what God is doing, around Europe, in a little place called Stanford-Le-hope, and here in this city. How people were committing to prayer and from that special place of hanging with Dad, people are right now being mobilised into action. We begin to hear about a Drug and alcohol rehab place that the church run, how they have just taken over a building and are wondering and praying as to what they need to focus on, young people? Single parents? Homeless people? It’s just wonderful to be able to pray into something right at the beginning of its birth.
But this is what I love about being on road. The big picture is amazing; to see God moving in a city and situation a church a community is immense. But. To be invited into the inner sanctum of just one life, to see the bones of what makes them tick, is something truly special. Let me introduce you to Pete, Pete lives and works at the drug and alcohol rehab centre, we have the privilege of meeting him and the residence there the following day and spending some time in this environment. He shares stories of how he was a missionary in Greenland, facing persecution and needing police protection at times. He shares a bit of his heart for the residence of the rehab centre. But then, as if it wasn’t enuff, he tell us, that hearing the stories of the Bus in the UK and prayer walking the streets and seeing the young guys not as problems but as the possibilities that God himself is looking for had struck something with him. His heart for the gospel is big, his heart for people is massive, he asks us to pray for him. Us? To pray for Him? Sometimes its kool to share the stories and pray that God will be lifted up in it all but to have the privilege of praying with someone touched by hearing what God is doing and being inspired to get on it themselves. Well, surely that is what it’s all about.
Oh yeah and did I tell you he’s 64 years old! Oh yeah, living the dream! God, I pray you will continue to inspire me at that age and beyond, in whatever way you want.

A few more days with Frank and Miriam’s family is prefect end to out brief stay in Denmark. How amazing it is to be welcomed by not just people, but family. Thanks Guys.

Rollin round Z’s manor

So it’s dark now, the damp floor lingers underfoot form the earlier down pour,

As earlier today I take a walk up this hill visible from all around. Past the quaint houses and cobbled pavements, the bench on the corner and the last street light. Into the darkest part of the night.
I walk up the Hill to ‘Gods Acre’. This time it feels different. There’s no one walking dogs or site seeing, this time its silent.
I take a seat on the edge and cast my eyes of little knowledge and great intrigue over the vast expanse of open ground and just consider. This is place God had been, this is place the like of which I couldn’t even dream. One noble man and a bunch of refugee’s witnessing an covering of the holy spirit the likes of which I’ve never seen. In the distance now darkened by the night sky, but there behind the trees, lies the church where it begun, born out of frustration and miscommunication and conflict among friend, God chooses, in his infinite wisdom, to intervene. This path before the bench on which I’m sitting leads to that church. Is it even possible that Moravians could have walked this very path in front of me, beginning to confess to each other their deepest thoughts and confessions, beginning to turn away and except the never ending source of forgiveness that is still there?
I walk through God’s acre, and whiteness countless graves of hundreds of lives that made a difference to the world, that through meeting with God and being inspired and listening to his direction set out, with little money and no knowledge of how the journey would go, even with the idea to sell themselves as slaves. Such was the passion, the passion of the message of Jesus.

I see the grave of Joshua, the west Indian, freed slave who’s tail sparked the excitement of 2 young men and lead to the first mission trip from this tiny town hundreds of miles away, and I wonder, what type of story would I have to hear to make me do the same?

I walk up to the site of the lookout tower that watches over this thinnest of thin places, to Herrnhut and beyond. And there on a bench at the foot of this place of prayer sit an old couple wrapped in a knitted blanket surrounded by candles. Not being able to speak the language I was unable to find the true purpose of their vigil, but I would like to think that in the age old tradition of this town the watch over the city in prayer still upholds itself, in the hearts and prayers of the faithful few. I make my way carefully down the steps into the trees and back to the grave yard. In the day this seems the safest of places steeped in history. But everything looks different in the dark. The universal sounds of night creep round as the skyline fades and the shadows creep in, I couldn’t help but think this was the path laid out for me? “Son, You know where I am, you’ve waited in my presence, you’ve gazed into the vast expanse of my creation and you’ve seen into the eyes of those I love, Whom I gave my only son for. Now go, go into the dark, go down from hear and get in deep, take this light, take this knowledge take this urgent message and spread it to all that will listen. What are you waiting for?”

I walk back down to the street, somehow the significance of this meeting changes my outlook on the surroundings, it soon becomes clear that unlike in my manor, hear there are no street lights, there’s plenty dark spots to hide, There’s is light, but it’s in the houses and the doors are closed firmly shut. There’s only me, no one else around. Lacking any sense of direction I amble back to where I think I should be, Ironically, the gate of the Jesus House is closed, but opposite stand a few young souls engaged in conversation, beer drinking and a cheeky smoke. What can I learn for spending just 30 minutes or so walking round Count Z’s manor. Having heard the stories of old, having seen the darkest night of winter, but having also been blinded by the light.???? Wot do you think?

Above are my thoughts from one evening, this being said, the Jesus House is a centre for prayer worship and community. They are working hard to live out the values of Christ in this town where the challenges take different forms to any I’ve experienced so far. Having unemployed government program workers on site and inviting them to a BBQ, the shop opposite run by members of the community supporting mission work in Mongolia, the weekly prayer for Gods people of Israel, the morning devotion and daily evening worship, the hospitality to visitors goes so far to express God in this town.
As we sat one night with Renee, and American called to this holly place, she shared that her heats cry is this. Its great people come to see the town and hear the history, but I pray that once again God will show up in this seemingly little and insignificant town and that people form far and wide would come, because what God is doing NOW!

Please join in with the same prayer. Thanks

Just get a bigger table!

Have you ever just been talking to someone, and in the midst of the conversation, they drop some knowledge on you, that literally is so simple you should have thought of it yourself before you even woke up, yet so profound that it literally takes you 5 minutes to pick your brain up off the floor to continue the conversation. They say it just in passing yet, it doesn’t just pass, its stays, it inspires and pushes you forward in your thinking?

You know what an oasis is, a place in the desert where people that are thirsty can go to drink. Where those that are tired from their journey can find rest and people that are searching can find what they need. Have you ever been to an oasis? I have, it was in a city called Thun, in Switzerland. Susannah and her band of disciples live, eat, and pray together in the confines of their 4 rather large walls. This intense community of believers are sharing life together in the rawest form.
What I learned to love and to inspired about this safe haven, was that it’s not closed, the door is literally always open (even maybe when it shouldn’t be!) The house is located right in between a night club, which is open 5 days a week till 3.30 am and a house that will be used by the local governing body to administer heroin and methadone to keep addicts from the streets. What a place to pray, what a position of influence to be in!
Not content with the position, this little community extends its hospitality to the city’s poor, a once a month Brunch for the homeless, the moneyless and the lonely goes so far to building the kingdom we so long to see.
Born out of a vision to live as a community of ‘followers of the way’, sharing life, learning from each other, discipleship and prayer this place is so much more than just a community house. We met various people over those few days that had been influenced by this vision and had subsequently had their lives changed, it really was an inspiration.

“When I was hungry, you gave me something to eat, When I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink...! Never before have these words from the Boss been so simply and clearly expressed before my eyes but in this case. Here I would also think a few more could be added to the sentence, you didn’t just feed me, you gave me a flipping top layout of food, you sang to me, played music, made me feel like part of the family, and you showed me love” isn’t that in itself, the most important commandment of all.

In our journey to learn all we can about Christ centred community, one of the deepest yet simple bits of advice was dropped in an ordinary conversation after dinner. “If you really wanna start doing community, all you need to do is get yourself a bigger table, and fill it!” and I guess like in the bible if those that are invited don’t come, go to the streets and the fields invite all you find to come and eat with me.

Amen sister. Be Blessed.