Riding the storm,

I’ve been trying to think of something useless, something that was probably made for a purpose or that someone thought would be a good idea at the time, but now serve no purpose. You know like a shoe horn, or that little grabber thing my Dad brought that is basically no longer that you arm so you could just reach and grab the thing you wanted anyway, or like hand soap in the mens toilets? (just joking on the last one) ((I hope))
That’s how I felt today. Good morning, went shopping on my own, managed to buy some stuff and tell the shop lady I was in kosova for 3 months. I was feeling quite good about life. Prayed, wrote down some stuff I was feeling from God it was kool.

And then. I tried to learn how to say what I had done that day so I could impress all my new Kosavan homies, when I ment Kjamalina and her sister I attempted it, and she looked at me with those eyes, you know ones that say Ahh bless his obviously tried to learn something but I have not idea wot hes saying, good boy for trying, have a gold sticker (I flippin hate stickers)

So on a Wednesday evening the guys hear go to a village called Babaloce. A guy became a Christian back in October (the legendary Andy Biddlie prayed with him) his name is ismit? Or something similar. He has since been an advocate for Christ, spreading the word and even opening his home to have a house church/group meeting each week on a Wednesday evening. Faton and Kjamalina run this (yet another responsibility for a group), they have some guys that take the kids outside and run a little program, and then they are inside with the older folks. Pastor Faton is still in Albania so it was Kjamalina, who opened the gathering, me. I was to tell why I was in kosova, I said a bit then said how this little group reminded me of the early church, meeting in a house, reading the bible seeking God, and caring for each other, so tried to encourage them to meet regularly, read the bible together as often as possible and care for one another and the community, I thought it sounded great, but no one seem to really take it in, it’s possible it got a bit lost in translation, but these things we just have to offer up and leave with god to water I think, so that was kool. Then I realised they only had like one bible between them ( maybe I should offer to buy some bibles?) Then Baca Feta shared from the 10 commandments.

Then what followed was commotion, I’m still unsure as to what actually happened. I think it went a bit like this, there’s an old guy who lives in the village, he doesn’t like the whole Christian thing, when he saw loads of kids in the garden of this guy’s house singing and having fun, first he tried to call them away. When it was apparent they didn’t want to leave he called the police and made some kind of accusation. So the police turn up. Now they wanna see everyone’s documents licenses insurance for the cars, they wanna know why we’re there. Oh yeah a couple of ladies from ‘smile’ are there too, one gets her driving licence taken off her. So as this was all going on I was in the house, they said it’s better to stay inside otherwise another face makes it more complicated they would want loads of details etc, it all seemed a bit sussed. So there was lots of talking in loud voices (the kosavan dialect is sometimes a bit aggressive, it’s hard to tell, especially with the guys, if their arguing, or just talking) So I’m thinking wot would the early church do in this situation, unfortunately with my lack of authority and balls, mixed with people coming in and going out by the time I offered to pray I was quickly (but nicely and politely) shut down by Kjamalina as a few other guys had come in to assist (I think) but had not been to these meeting before so didn’t really know about God and they didn’t want to freak them out. Fair play, I guess all that talk about being sensitive to a culture is coming out. Then they guys were talking about this fella and how he was a bad man and always causing them trouble. I had just read from James I think, that morning about loving those who curse you and stuff, I so wanted to share that and offer a prayer for the guy, but due to lack of translation, loads of conversations going on and being just a little fella, I wasn’t able to get it out there. I believe in the end Tina, who FYI is only 22, a young girl trying to prove herself in a man’s world and is doing it well, she has the ability to take control of a situation straight away, yesterday we had to move the kids program as this guys needed the grass for his cow, he was shouting/talking, about this (difficult to tell which with the language) and she was right up in there giving all she had. She’s quite amazing but I’m trying really hard not to upset her. So her and Angela from smile went to the police station, gave some details, the police were kool but advised them to get a list of the kids names and some parental permission so there are no problems next time (if that will happen I don’t know but it sounded like a good plan) and while all this was happening we were in the house, a massive thunder and lightning storm was going on outside, kids were crying, the guys were shouting, Baca Feta was telling this one guy, unrelentingly about Jesus.

Then there was me, I couldn’t say anything, or help in any way. I felt completely less of use, i.e useless. Then the lady of the house made me coffee, apparently coz they felt bad for me, being my first time in the village and having these problems. Wot? Bad for me! Flipping chickin, I felt like a proper mug, but of course you have to drink the coffee, it’s rude not too. The guy Ismit, was, at one point telling his pal, who wasn’t a Christian. Look at this guy (me) he’s come all the way from England to follow God, to help us and look what he has to put up with. Wot I’ve come to help them, flipping chickin. I proved no help at all, in fact just me being there with whole police thing actually made it a bit more difficult for them
Mate what a tuff night.

N E Way, that being said, I do of course appreciate there will be times like this, when you can’t see the point in being there, and I know it will change (I hope) but in that moment and this, I just feel useless. I feel a bit like even the group I’m with must be thinking what is he doing here he not really helping just getting in the way, every time we go somewhere I am asked to share why I’m hear. Mostly I talk about what God has done for me and that I wanna serve but now I’m thinking it may come across like check me out I’m following Jesus and serving you. You need to do the same when in effect their doing so much more than I’ve ever done already. Sometimes you feel out of depth, sometimes it might take a while, but this was my moment. Don’t worry, I’m not thinking bout packing it all in, and I relies all the challenges are good to help us grow and all that malarkey but this was a tuff night. I’ve got till 6pm tomorrow to pick up and get back at it. C’mon. Then I have to share with another village about why I’m there. God help me. Literally.

On a brighter note, just to see this guys work is so kool. I’ve been thinking bout church and how it should be for a while and these guys, without any big name teachers are doing it. There just getting out into their community, serving, spreading the word, helping the poor and needy. These are the modern day missionaries, these are people taking the black and white words of the great commission and doing it right it front. Maybe I’m not here to help at all, maybe just to learn? Interesting.

I’ve got a few thoughts on the structure and stuff, but at the mo it’s just a pleasure to see how this happens, how it starts and they just wanna be the hands and feet of Jesus in Gjkova, Kosova, and to the ends of the earth, well at least into Albanian for the moment..